Hello lovely ladies and welcome to Part 2 of my mummy learns! I hope you enjoyed Part 1 and shared your thoughts. Let’s jump straight in to my next 5 learns…
6) Your non-mum friends appreciate you not talking about your kids all time.
Spending time with friends who don’t yet have children actually helps me to remember that I existed before these little humans came along. It also helps me to regain a sense of balance and well-roundedness by spending time just talking as women and not always as mums.
I think it also demonstrates to those of your non-mum friends who are perhaps fearful that becoming a mother will rob them of their identity (yes, this is a common fear I’ve come across), that, actually, they can still be themselves once little humans of their own arrive.
7) I appreciate encouragement more than ever.
This mumming thing is HARD.
The next time you meet a mum, make her day and just tell her she’s doing an amazing job.
If she wants your advice, she’ll ask for it (see my post ‘The Good, the Bad and the Unsolicited’ on unwanted parenting advice).
I go out of my way to offer encouragement to other mums because I know we’re all struggling and probably feeling like we’re failing daily.
That knowing look mums give each other when our kids are having a meltdown at the school gate is priceless; it says “I’ve been there, you’ll get through this”. The other look mums sometimes get when said child is kicking off, the look that says “can’t she control her child”, we could definitely do with less of, thank you.
8) Kids are a massive part of my life but they can’t be my life.
One day, as strange as it can be to imagine in the midst of currently wiping bums and noses, these little people will be grown-ups doing their own thing and it’ll be just my husband and me (and hopefully a dog – I’m working on persuading my husband that we should get one).
If I spend all of their childhood years investing all of my time and energy into their needs to the point that I have nothing left to invest into my marriage, then that would mean my priorities were imbalanced.
These children were born out of this marriage; our marriage is the foundation of their upbringing so it needs to be strong.
I also find I get a much healthier sense of balance when I do non-mummy things. It keeps me in touch with the things I enjoy outside of taking care of my kids.
It’s hard to do this when they’re still young and childcare needs get real, but you’ve got to try. For you.
9) Kids know your weaknesses.
By this I mean, they see the real me every single day – there’s no hiding from them!
They teach me every day about my weaknesses and shortcomings, and I love that they do; it helps me to know what areas to pray over and ask for the grace to continue to meet their needs even though I’m lacking in certain areas. Patience, for one, is an area I’m praying to increase in (and ALL the mamas said AMEN).
10) Children are not an excuse to not be involved with kingdom business.
Ooh, did I hit a nerve? This one is a sensitive area because the fact is that when you have children, becoming or remaining involved in Christian activity like outreaches, evangelistic efforts and church events is harder than when you don’t have children but it is still possible.
You just have to plan ahead, use your time well, and be flexible.
I’ve gone on outreaches and had to leave early to nurse my baby or to help my 3 year old settle and that’s ok. I do what I can and don’t give myself a hard time about it if I have to cut it short.
I’ve also learned that my kids can see what I think of things like outreaches and I want for them to actually want to be there themselves when they’re old enough to choose, so I aim to make it as pleasant an experience as possible. (For us all!)
As mothers, we also have a fantastic opportunity to speak with other mothers while we’re out with our little ones.
Just witnessing to someone as and when the Holy Spirit moves you to counts as kingdom business!
If you’re anything like me, you might have to muster up some courage to approach someone and start a conversation, but the Lord knows your heart and if you really want to be used by Him, He will give you those opportunities which you can make use of while you’re on mummy duty.
You know you already have something in common when you see that pushchair – you’re both mums and you both go to that park/library/group etc – so you can bite the bullet and be about your Father’s business as well as your own.
So, those are my top 10 mummy learns so far! If you enjoyed reading this post, do hit the like button and comment with your thoughts, and remember to follow this blog by email so you don’t miss out on future posts!
Have a great week ladies,